You're completely useless in the revolution.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
