maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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