I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
