She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
