Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We just shotgunned beers for America
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
