My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize