If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
