I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
