I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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