6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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