so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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