now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize