I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
