I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
