Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
