guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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