You're earring is so big in my mouth
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
