Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
