I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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