We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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