This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
