so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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