I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
