id be glad to
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Let's paint friendship bongs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
