I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
