We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
