Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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