when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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