Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
