just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
