I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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