I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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