i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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