Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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