guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i already hear my dad disowning me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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