im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
