Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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