I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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