New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
