Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
