I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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