The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
