The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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