I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize