when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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