This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
As shirtless as possible
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
