Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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