booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize