at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
high people should be assigned attendants
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
