yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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