YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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