Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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