Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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