she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
