Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
