Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize