You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
wow bdsm is so cute
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
