so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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