How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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