Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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