Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
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Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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