So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
