dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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