ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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