My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
