I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
