I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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