I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
