Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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